I am hiding right now in my bathroom. My son Noah (3.5 year old)  is crying hysterically for the 15th time today, this time because I put a little lego in the wrong place. Now I hear him screaming that my son Jed (18 month year old) is putting a plug fan in and out of the wall socket. Raising two toddlers feels impossible today.

Earlier I took off Jed’s diaper so I could give him some fresh air hoping to dry out his rash. I then went to go make lunch and I hear Noah saying, “Mama, Mama I just stepped in Jed’s poop.”  And then it dawned on me that is how it feels so many days raising little people. It feels like one child is pooping everywhere and the other child is stepping in it and walking around the house. I think to myself in the moment, you gotta be kidding me, I was just trying to HELP, I was just trying to help a little rash.

Fast forward to after dinner and I hear them yelling for me right now. I have to go back and do the bedtime routine. The one that involves more books, more sips of water, more rocking, more potty and the famous, “one more time” or “can I have a snack?.”  I think to myself some Mom out there has it figured out, I know she does. Her kids are not walking in poop, she is not hiding in the bathroom. She is taking selfies of herself with makeup on, and cuddling in white sheets or towels. OH WAIT, I do that TOO. We all see those pictures on Instagram and Facebook of Moms looking good raising their adorable clan. I am that Mom too, I post cute pics. Social Media is a highlight reel and those pictures of split moments of white sheet baby joy, and a clean and showered Mamas are never what the majority of the day looks like. And so, on this average Thursday, I to have to remind myself of that very truth: raising kids has beautiful moments...IN BETWEEN the hours and hours of hard work. I am trying my best to love my children well, and many days I feel I am working so hard  I can barely make it to the bedtime routine. Today was one of those days. A day that felt like I was just walking through smelly poop trying to keep everyone alive.