Lately I've been questioning myself, as a mother, and it can be a disturbing feeling. 

Motherhood (and all the feels around it) can be so vulnerable.  My kids are never as cute as they may appear in photos. My hair is almost always greasy, and I find it painfully hard to put on makeup these days.  Some days, the mess of my house looks similar to the mess of my heart and my emotions. 

My kids have meltdowns constantly, they fight and scream at each other, and I wonder - how on earth am I fit to be their mother when basically I want to have a meltdown too? 

And then I get sucked in to wondering if I'm not doing things the right way.  If I'm being really honest - it's scary how triggered I can get from being on social media. It's like I fall in my own motherhood comparison trap.  Wait, I'm sorry - my life does not look like the photos on my Instagram feed - I'm sure you all know that.  And yet here I am, comparing my own life to all these other Instagram feeds.  My thoughts spiral downward and I think so negatively.  I start to think other people's ways of doing motherhood, life, everything - are better than mine.  What??

The culture we live in tends to breed a certain expectation - that you can do it all, and if you're not doing it all  - AND thriving - then you're failing.

I don't know about you, but I stumble into believing that lie.  Often. 

And yet I know I have my own motherly intuition and instincts that are unique for my children and my family. We as mothers can sometimes forget this, when we are already exhausted... and then we become frazzled, uncentered, and then trip ourselves into comparison storms. 

This is when it's time to take a step back, relax your shoulders, relax those tight muscles in your face, and gain some perspective. Dig deep. Because this is the truth: nobody else is in charge of your children. Nobody else is their mother. YOU ARE. Nobody else knows best. YOU DO. 

Note to self - take a deep breath. Find your center. You are doing hard work. And you are doing your best. Right now. This moment. You know instinctively, deep down, what is best for you AND your children. Stop checking Instagram constantly.  Put your phone down and look at your kids. Hug them and hold them tight. 

Keep your heart soft and your eyes heavenward. 

Keep doing your best.